So I’m not supposed to be here, but alas…here I am. We had a viewing for him at 11. Joel would have done less, because that being the last way many he loved would see him, but his momma needed her closure. Somehow with the help of Pastor Cavazos I was able to find my voice to speak.

At your memorial there were so many flowers. I’m sure you would have complained with the amount of money spent on those. I again appointed myself to go up and wrap it up. A letter to you turned into a eulogy. I would have done much more but you wouldn’t have wanted it that way.

“First of all on behalf of the family we would love to thank you all for attending. For the sending of flowers, food and sending prayers to our family.

On Wednesday, September 7, 1983 right around lunch time, Joel decided it was time to grace us with his presence. He was born to Jose and Blasa Martinez in Levelland Texas. He had three anxious siblings waiting for him to come home. Sammy, Luisa, and myself. He was our little brother up until May 1987 and then in October of 1989 becoming the big brother for Angie and Isai. We grew up running up and down these streets. Literally down the street right here on the corner of Pierce street and 1st street.

Growing up in a sibling set of six, I’m sure that there was never a dull moment for our parents. In February of 1990, our Father Jose passed away. The dynamics of the family changed at this point the guys really doing their best to be the father that we had just lost.

As we grew Joel was always our sounding boards. I can speak of this personally. He was my go to person. When I married my husband back in 2016 and relocated to EL Paso Texas. Joel was very supportive of this moved and assured me things would be okay. If things were going on here back at home he would be the person I would call just so he could calm me down and tell me not to worry about it that things would be okay. That or we would vent together. Complain and then say, Okay lets just forget about it. Lets move on. Joel was my person.

To be honest last week when my husband broke the news to me I thought that life as we knew it as over. This by far was one of the worst moments of my life. For 39 years I had an unconditional friendship with Joel. He was my person. One of my bosses told me a few days ago that the loss of a parent is difficult, but that as sibling we always assume we will bury our parents together and go through the pain together. The unreal is happing right now. This would not be what Joel nor God would want from us.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Joel was an amazing father, father in law – We are happy that he was able to see his son get married to his beautiful wife. Eddy and Victoria. An extended family he was very happy for Eddy to Join as well. One can never have too much family.

Joel was an amazing son. He would do anything for his momma. He would was always the first to know when mom was upset. We knew that he would automatically call me to see what was wrong and who had upset my mom. He was the person that always made sure his mom was okay.

– Joel was the person I called when I had met goals at professionally and personally. He would tell me, “good job, doesn’t it feel good.” He pushed me to be a better person.
– I’m sure each of my siblings would come up here and say the same thing if not more. So if anything I’m gonna give you some highlights of Joel that I can think off right now.
– I always carried my Joel when he was a baby. I remember once during church I was carrying him from one end to the other. Suddenly the church heard a loud thud. I had fallen back because he was too heavy for me to carry him. I think that day forward as we grew up he became the person who would carry me. Yes me!
– This one goes to a pint of ice cream. Sammy was learning to cut hair and was trying out his fading technique on Joel. He gave him a pint of ice cream, boy was he happy. Long story short, Joel ended up with a buzz cut and a crying mom stating she was embaressed to send him to school that way. She was afraid people would laugh at him.
– He loved his sports in high school, football, powerlifting, Shotput and discus. He always made us so proud of him.
– He excelled at what he did, his tenure as a coach he was able to work alongside his best friend, Tyson. That friendship leaves comfort in my heart. Knowing that we will have someone in our lives that was friends with my brother. Tyson sits with a family, because that is what he is, a brother. He was there while Eddy enlisted Into the Marine Corp. Thank you Tyson. You are our honorary brother, officially!
– Joel his Senior year was offered to go play in Kansas during his college years, but I remember him coming home saying, Nope that’s not where I want to go. This is where I want to be. They aren’t nice, it’s not Texas. He was a Texan through and through.
– Joel loved to travel, loved playing golf and watching all sporting events. Heck I think I even saw him watching a Tennis match once.
– He was an amazing father, son, brother, uncle. He had a sarcastic sense of humor and was quite the jokester. I have read comments his coworkers have posted. And it’s made me cry and smile. Because that person you all have described is who I am.
-Joel knew how much Sammy, Luisa, Angie, Isai and myself looked up to him. We wanted to be like him when we grew up. Today is the day we lay him to rest, but he left us a week ago today. God was ready for him.

We just thank God for giving him to us for 39 amazing years. I miss you so much already.”

Joel, why? I know you can’t answer and we can’t question God, but I’m lost right now. I didn’t do enough for you.